


In The Stars (Logan Sanders Human! AU Angst)

by black_out_wonder



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Death, I Made Myself Cry, Illness, Logan Sanders - Freeform, OW, What Have I Done, human! au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 10:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14353677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_out_wonder/pseuds/black_out_wonder
Summary: Logan always loved watching the stars, but no one knew why.





	In The Stars (Logan Sanders Human! AU Angst)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I literally traumatized myself while writing this. I also posted this on Tumblr if you want to see it there! My URL is @black-out-wonder
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Death, illness

His mother had loved the stars.

He remembered being a child, seeing his mother on the patio, staring up into the inky sky almost every time the sun went down. She would sit outside, staring upwards for an hour or so before returning to take care of her only son. She would always seem happier after her nightly ventures. It wasn’t until he was twelve that he gained the courage to wander outside with his mother. “Mom,” Logan asked quietly as he approached her. “Why do you stare at the sky every night?”

Instead of being surprised or embarrassed like he expected her to, she smiled, holding out her hand to her son. When he took it, she sat him down next to her, her eyes never leaving the darkness. “Do you see the stars?” She murmured as she pulled him to her side.

He nodded as she stroked his short hair. “My grandmother-your great-grandmother-told me that those we’ve lost appear in the stars,” she explained softly. “They become their own stars, watching us from the sky. That way they never leave us.”

He didn’t say anything, staring up at the stars alongside his mother. He was fascinated with the information given to him. It was like a legend, a story passed down from speaking to family and friends. After a few moments, his mother raised her hand, pointing to a specific star, “You see that one? That’s your father.”

“Dad?” He replied hopefully, staring at the bright star his mother had singled out.

With a melancholy chuckle, she lowered her hand, “Yes. That’s him. I come out here every night to visit with him.”

His father had passed away when he was young. He was fuzzy on the details, so this was all he knew. His heart grew heavy for the family he never knew. “Can I watch the stars with you from now on?” He requested with a small voice.

“Of course,” she said in the softest of voices.

From that night on, she told him stories of his family in the sky, each one more interesting than the last. His mind raced with each member’s legacy passed down to him. There were calm stories involving his grandmother and wild tales strung about his ancestors. He looked forward to new stories every day. That was until he reached his junior year of high school.

As his mind grew and the schoolwork rose neck deep, his stargazing time dwindled down as the time passed by. His mother would knock on his door, telling him that it was time to watch the stars, and he would dismiss her, telling her that he was busy and that he would do it the next night. The next night never came.

By the time he was in college, he had almost forgotten the time he spent with his mother under the stars. He was too focused on his future as a chemical engineer. His eyes were no longer gazing wistfully at the sky, only staring at the books he was given to study. This continued until he received an urgent phone call from the hospital in his hometown.

Logan raced home as soon as possible, forgetting the work he had to do for his classes for once. He would send them an email to explain the situation. They would understand.  
When he reached the hospital, they told him that she had stage four lung cancer, despite her never smoking a day in her life. She had been struggling with it for some time, not telling her son. She suffered in silence, not wanting to worry him. They told him that she had a few days at the very most. 

When he entered the room, he was doing everything he could to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. She smiled weakly when she saw him, “Logan.” She croaked. “Why are you here? You should be in school.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He tried to keep his voice void of emotion but ended up cracking at the end.

Her face fell as she sighed, “I didn’t want you to worry about me. You have your own future to worry about.”

He pulled up the chair beside her, taking her hand in his, “Is there anything I can do? Please, tell me.”

“There’s nothing that can be done,” she insisted. “I’ve accepted that-“

“Please,” he clenched his eyes shut, shaking as she placed her other hand on his. 

Silence filled the air before she gave her answer, “Let’s watch the stars again.”

He nodded, complying. He opened the blinds to the window in her room, helping her get up from her bed. He retrieved a wheelchair for her, lowering her into it gently. His heart dropped seeing her in this state. His mother was a strong person. He had never seen her like this before. He pushed her closer to the windows, so she could see the sky, pulling his chair close to her. She took his hands in hers, “Have I ever told you about your great-great Uncle Charles?”

It proceeded like it did back before his head got stuck in the books. She told him even more stories of his ancestors, each more motivating and exciting than the last. “I love you, Logan, my sweet boy,” she mumbled, rubbing her thumbs against his knuckles.

“I love you too,” he replied just as softly, pressing his lips to her fingers.

As he did so, he noticed the tension in her hands disappear. His eyes snapped open, looking up to see that her eyes had fluttered shut, her jaw slack. He couldn’t hold back the tears anymore as his mother died by his side. As the nurses came in, pulling him away from the woman who raised him, he felt numb. His arms hung limply at his sides as he watched them wheel her out of the room.

He went to his mother’s house that night, sitting on the patio like they used to. He wished that they could’ve sat here together one last time. He didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. He thought they had a little time. His gaze found the stars once again as he reminded himself of every story she ever told him. He looked to his father’s star last, almost overlooking it. There was a new star, right next to his father. With salty tears staining his cheeks, the corners of his mouth rose as he stared.

“Hello, Mom.”


End file.
